Granddads Story Men Only No Females

06 Jun

When I was growing up I remember all the old stories Grandma would tell me

You know the ones about Cinderella and her three ugly sisters and the ones about Hansel and Gretel

Stories that were all fairy tales that would make you dream of love and Princesses and kingdoms in far away lands But damned if I know why she wanted me to hear about a little boy called Hansel being kept in a little cage to be fattened up to be eaten by an ugly old crone

So going to sleep as a little boy was a cross between happy dreams and wetting the bed in nightmares

Well anyway Grandpa would always tell me stories that were fun and laughter

This is one story he told me that I never understood at the time but every time he told it he would burst out laughing and tell me that one day I would understand the moral of the story

He said it was man’s talk and the true story of what happened to Cinderella after she slopped her droopy lipper at the pancy dress fall

True story as told by Granddad

Cinderella turned 75 years old after a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat Alan. One afternoon , out of nowhere, appeared her fairy Godmother

Cinderella said, Fairy Godmother , what are you doing here after all these years

The Fairy Godmother replied , Well Cinderella , since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes, is there anything for which your heart still desires.

Cinderella was overjoyed.

I wish I was extremely wealthy, she said. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Alan her cat jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering in fear.

Oh thank you Fairy Godmother said Cinderella.

Is there anything else you might wish for asked the Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said

I wish I was young and full off the beauty I once had

At once her wish was granted

Cinderella felt a feeling inside her that she had not felt for years

The Fairy Godmother said you have one wish remaining,what shall you have

Cinderella looked at her frightened cat and said,

I wish you would turn Alan , my old cat, into a handsome young man.

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and before them stood a young man with the looks and body that no other man could match

The Fairy Godmother again spoke

Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life, and with that she was gone .

For a few eerie moments,Cinderella and Alan looked into each others eyes

This is the Romantic Bit I love( Ian )

Cinderella stood, gazing at the most stunning perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms.

He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath

Bet you regret having my balls chopped off now , don’t you


Posted by on June 6, 2011 in Uncategorized


16 responses to “Granddads Story Men Only No Females

  1. floridaborne

    October 31, 2015 at 2:25 pm

    I’ve heard it before, but I LOVE this rendition a whole lot better. 🙂

    Somewhere (I don’t remember where) I read that the reason the original fairy tales were so gruesome was the keep small children from wandering away into forests full of wolves, bears and other predators. I still have a 60 year old book with some of the original fairy tales and they’d make your hair stand on end.

    • The Emu

      November 2, 2015 at 8:08 am

      Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment, glad you liked this old story, you are quite correct in stating that old original fairy tales were gruesome, and designed as a warning to children, one I specifically recall is Hansel and Gretel, the little boy kept in a cage and poking a chicken bone out instead of his finger, to the old witch, to show he wasn’t getting fatter.
      Lot of old story’s would be banned these days, some I think are in actual fact, alas the innocence of childhood is being over monitored these days.
      Kindest regards and best wishes.

      • floridaborne

        November 2, 2015 at 1:54 pm

        It seems to me that the old fairy tales were a way to teach children that in a wolf-eat-wolf world, there is no such thing as “safe.” 🙂

        • The Emu

          November 3, 2015 at 11:16 am

          I have to agree with you my Friend, sadly the world has changed, and the old fairy tale story’s appear to take on a modern day realistic scenario.
          We seem to have lost the innocence of our Childhood.
          Kindest regards and best wishes for a beaut week.

  2. davidprosser

    October 7, 2015 at 8:38 am

    Ha, life is full of Cosmic retribution.. The Gods love a good laugh.

    • The Emu

      October 7, 2015 at 10:44 am

      Good evening David, thanks for the visit and comment, glad you appreciated that little bit of humour.
      I have been away for a while, and haven’t had much chance to catch up on posts, apart from a quick read.
      Doesn’t take long to get behind on WordPress.
      Hoping you and your family are well, I enjoy your family pictures, there’s a lot of love in them.
      Kindest regards and best wishes.
      Aussie Emu aka Aussie Ian.

      • davidprosser

        October 7, 2015 at 8:51 pm

        Good to have you back Ian. I hope everything is OK. You’re quite right that it doesn’t take much to get behind. I’ve been out today and then playing Trivial Pursuit and Yahtzee with my brother all evening. I’m at screaming pitch to come back to 124 and it’s only that few because WordPress have suddenly stopped sending me anything from most people I follow.
        I’m glad you enjoy the family pics. I’m really glad you pop in to visit.
        Keep well my friend

        • The Emu

          October 8, 2015 at 9:08 am

          Hi David, thanks for the response,I am settling down for the evening after a bit of a holiday, and slowly catching up on emails, can’t afford to post just yet until I catch up, otherwise I get further behind.
          Cheers mate and best wishes.

  3. Sue Dreamwalker

    October 1, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    😀 loved it the very first time around dear Ian and loved it just as much again xx

    • The Emu

      October 2, 2015 at 9:50 am

      Thanks Sue, I loved it the first time two, but after fifty re blogs it’s pissing me off, just a memory problem I have at the moment to overcome.

  4. suchled

    September 27, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    An old one but a good one.

    • The Emu

      September 27, 2015 at 9:56 pm

      An old one alright John, it still resurfaces now and then.

  5. GP Cox

    September 27, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Thanks for helping me to catch up – it’s great to get a chuckle in the morning!!!!!

    • The Emu

      September 27, 2015 at 11:06 am

      Bit of a laugh for the day gp, can’t be all serious all the time mate.

      • GP Cox

        September 27, 2015 at 11:10 am

        I totally agree with that – no one smiles enough these days!

  6. The Emu

    September 27, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Reblogged this on Welcome To Aussie Emus World.


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