The Birds And Bees–Emu Version

26 Dec

A bedtime story for boys and girls

Once upon a time a long long time ago

in a faraway land called Australia lived Uncle Emu

Now Uncle Emu was very very sad because he was lonely

so he decided he needed a pet to keep him company

So he travelled the lands far and wide to find a pet

but he could never find one he liked for a pet

He was so sad until one day he saw the perfect pet

It was in a shop window sitting all alone

It was a cactus , yes boys and girls, a Cactus

but a very ugly cactus ,all round and green

with little white lumps and hair all over it

It was very very ugly but Uncle Emu loved it so much

So Uncle Emu took the little Cactus and ran all the way home

as fast as his little legs could carry him

He placed the little Cactus in the middle of his garden

and sat down in his chair and admired his little Cactus

Days went by and Uncle Emu got bored with his Cactus

because it never did anything, just sat in its pot looking ugly

One day Uncle Emu went into his garden to see his Cactus

and got a great big shock, his Cactus had two things growing on it

They were like little marbles with tiny hair all over them

Uncle Emu’s little Cactus was a mummy Cactus

with two little babies

Uncle Emu was so excited he jumped for joy

and danced around clapping his hands together in glee

He was so very very happy

Days went by as he watched the babies grow

They got bigger and bigger and their hairs grew longer

Uncle Emu wanted to pick up his Cactus

but knew that you must not touch them

because boys and girls, the little hairs will give you an itchy rash

all over your arms and belly and make you scratch

Thats why if you touch a Cactus you must wash your hands quickly

especially before you go to the toilet and after so you dont get itchy hehehe

After many days went by the babies stopped growing

The were huge and hairy and very round

Uncle Emu got bored with his mummy Cactus and her babies as the days went by

Till one day he noticed a new baby growing between the baby balls

But this one was different boys and girls

This one grew straight up like a pencil with a little knobby bit on the end

Uncle Emu was so sad and confused with his Cactus

He didn’t know what was happening

He thought and thought what could it be till one day he knew

His little Cactus wasn’t a mummy Cactus at all

No boys and girls, Uncle Emu’s Cactus was a boy Cactus

He was so excited he jumped for joy and danced around clapping his hands in glee

He sat and watched the boy Cactus grow each day 

It got bigger and bigger with lots of hair

and the knobby bit at the end swelled

up and got redder and redder then it grew no more

Uncle Emu was sad and confused with his Cactus and wondered why it stopped growing

He thought and thought and had an idea , if it was a boy Cactus it might be lonely for a girl Cactus

but what could he do , he had no girl Cactus , then he got an idea

He raced inside to his little computer and found some pictures of a girl Cactus

He quickly printed them on his little printer and raced outside as fast as his little legs could carry him

He sat on the ground in the garden in front of the boy Cactus and showed him lots of girl Cactus pictures 

Well the boy Cactus got excited and swelled up bigger and bigger

and its hairs quivered in excitement

and the knobby bit at the end grew bigger and bigger and redder and redder

Then suddenly a little eye appeared in the knobby bit and suddenly something started to come out Can you guess what it was boys and girls ?

Yes boys and girls , out came the most beautiful flower that you could ever imagine

Oh it was so beautiful Uncle Emu jumped for joy and danced around clapping his hands in glee

Uncle Emu was never lonely and sad again and was happy ever after

And thats why boys and girls, that everywhere around the world to this very day

little boys carry a special flower in their heart for that special little girl who they will one day fall in love with and marry

The End

Nigh nigh boys and girls

These pictures were taken over a period of a couple of days and the cactus only blooms once a year and it happened to bloom on Christmas day this year

Cheers Emu


Posted by on December 26, 2011 in Uncategorized


35 responses to “The Birds And Bees–Emu Version

  1. reocochran

    July 24, 2015 at 9:30 am

    So strange as it did appear to be a Mum but then daddy. . . The flower took the prize and everyone’s heart, Ian 🙂

    • The Emu

      July 26, 2015 at 3:18 am

      Hi Robin, sorry for the delay in acknowledging you comment.
      Thank you for the visit and pleased you enjoyed my story.
      Do hope you are well and enjoying your weekend.

  2. cat

    June 24, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    … not so sure this is a true kid’s story … hmmm, but I guess it could be … smiles … anyway, I loved it, Ian … and the pics are awesome !!! Always, your cat.

    • The Emu

      June 27, 2015 at 1:57 am

      Good morning Cat, pleased you liked my Kids story, not sure where my imagination was running when I wrote that.
      Think I will keep it as an adult Kids story.
      Hope your doing fine girl, and life is keeping you happy.
      Kind regards my Gypsy Gal.

      • cat

        June 29, 2015 at 2:22 pm

        …. love u… always …and don’t u forget it 🙂 cat.

        • The Emu

          July 1, 2015 at 3:02 am

          Thanks Cat, we definitely been together a long time now, right from Spaces days, keep smiling girl, lots of love Emu aka Ian

  3. auntyuta

    June 22, 2015 at 9:53 am

    Thanks for rebloggen this, dear Aussie Emu. I enjoyed reading it very much. Have you tried reading it to a child? The pictures are so enjoyable too, especially the one with the surprise flower.
    Cheerio, Uta

    • The Emu

      June 22, 2015 at 10:05 am

      Hi Uta, an old blog I know, don’t know where my imagination was when I penned those words.
      I haven’t read it to any child yet, think I will just pass that story on for my Grand children when they get older.
      Hope you and Peter are doing well, damn cold here, looking forward to Summer.

      • auntyuta

        June 22, 2015 at 10:14 am

        Ditto, here, Emu. a bit more warmth would be welcome. But we’re doing all right under the circumstances. Had a cooked knee the other day. But it soon got better again.
        Love to you and Ana from
        Uta and Peter 🙂

        • The Emu

          June 23, 2015 at 9:52 am

          Hope your knee is improving Uta, cold weather wont help either, it’s playing havoc with Ana’s arthritis at the moment.
          Personally I prefer the Summer months.
          Kind regards to you and Peter.

          • auntyuta

            June 23, 2015 at 8:46 pm

            Give my love to Ana, please, Ian. I hope her arthritis gets better soon. Best wishes to both of you from Uta and Peter

            PS: Luckily my knee is not so crook any more at the moment. I try to keep warm with hot teas and soups, but I avoid too much fat in my food for I think too much is not good for me.

          • The Emu

            June 24, 2015 at 11:21 am

            Thanks Uta, I think Ana’s arthritis will be around for a while, she sees a specialist this week, who after trying many cures will be able to get her an expensive Govt approved injection, she had to try all medicines before they allow this injection.
            Your right about fats in foods Uta, think that has been proven not to be a idea in all foods.

  4. The Emu

    June 22, 2015 at 7:39 am

    Reblogged this on Welcome To Aussie Emus World.

  5. jasmindamaro

    January 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    hallo liebster freund
    will dir mal etwas schreiben ich war 30 jahre circus artist mit hunde und feckse
    und noch einiege andere tiehrsorten
    habe in 1985 n, im circus aufgehoehrt und einen bauernhof gemietet und daraus eine kinder bauernhof fuer schulen und normales publikum mit einem teeroom in den jahren 1992 kam hier in belgien eine rage auf viele bauern verkauften ihre tiehre und bauten alles um grund dafuer war in belgien wollte man straus voegel zuechten fuers fleisch auch ich danchte damit reich zu werden ich hatte 10 emus und nach ein jahr zucht program 70 junge strausvoegel und 4 zucht tiehre
    kaufte dann zwwei brutmaschiehnen ich hatte zu viel eier und einen brutkasten mann nennt es hier auskomm kasten habe sehr viel ervolg gehabt aber nach zwei jahren war es vorbei mann konnte die jungen nicht mehr verkaufen der handel ist kaput gegangen das fleisch von australien und africa war viel billiger es war eine lehrreiche periode fuer mich aber auch sehr gefaehrlich die emus und die africaner konnten sehr gefaehrlich sein ebenfalls die nandus ich hatte weisse und graue habe sie alle geliebt es waren alles meine kinder aber ich habe aufgehoehrt sie frassen essen mir mein haar vom kopf
    es war eine tolle aber kostbare erfahrung dencke nun viel durch dich daran
    wenn ich zeit habe mache ich einen neuen block nur von meinen tiehren so sei lieb gegruest deine freundin jasmin damaro big hug

    • The Emu

      January 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      That certainly is a great story Jasmine , you know about Emu’s
      So you had experience with them in a circus and when they were sold and breeding them
      They are great birds and very protective when they are nesting
      They are common here in Australia and you can see them when you are driving
      Thank you for sharing that great story ,you should blog that story my friend
      Wishing you much love , have a beautiful Tuesday
      Emu aka Ian

  6. natswans

    January 1, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    Lovely Cacti Emu and the story very nice … This flower but only for a short time I had one in my conservatory. Best Wishes and good health for you and your family.
    Sheila Hugs

    • The Emu

      January 2, 2012 at 4:28 am

      Greetings dear friend , glad you enjoyed my efforts in photography
      I wish you a great new year full of prosperity love and happiness
      May all your dreams come true
      Emu aka Ian

  7. Angel O'surfside

    December 30, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    oh emu, you had me in stitches laughing at this, but i must say what a magical flower that old cactus of your’s grew, amazing what beauty hides beneath the ol prickles hey xxx mwahs love you always Your Angel xxx

    • The Emu

      December 31, 2011 at 5:19 am

      Hi Tracy , great to hear from you after a bloody long time
      Hope all is okay with you , Fraig and the little guy but guess by now he’s out hooning
      and got his own harley and partying till late, you been quiet around the net lately or I just miss you
      I only do wordpress but tried facefuck for the second time and can’t make head nor tail of the shit
      Seems to be full of words I dont know like ,WGAF , LOL,LMFAO AND crap thats alien to me,
      met Sue a few weeks back and had a great time , dont know where my future is heading but will bump into you somewhere around the traps
      Say hi to Craig and I wish you both a great new year
      Emu and Ian

  8. Sue Dreamwalker

    December 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    Hi Emu, enjoyed this little tale 🙂 Lol.. At first I thought you had spawned a little Emu.. that long-neck I could have sworn Id seen it below a Happy smiling beak.. LOL..But I always knew you had your head in the flower garden.. 🙂 I had to look twice, 🙂 as that little flower resembled a beak.. So Happy it bloomed.. and what a flower…. Hope the Bees enjoyed visiting too..
    Wishing you a Very Happy New Year Emu.. love and Blessings sent your way my friend.. all our love to you and yours for 2012 . xx

    • The Emu

      December 29, 2011 at 4:08 am

      Hi Sue , glad you saw the humour in my story , came to me as I was sitting in my garden
      I seem to have this knack of making storys up out of whatever I see or do , now that you mention it
      I could have turned it into a little Emu, lol
      Cheers girl and wishing you a great new year

  9. Vickie

    December 27, 2011 at 2:24 am

    Hi Emu,
    Nice pictures. I like the story you made to go with them.

    • The Emu

      December 27, 2011 at 5:02 am

      Hi Vicki , thank you for calling by my space and reading my story
      I dont think I will take up writing stories for children though
      Glad you enjoyed it , thank you for your comment
      I look forward to visiting your space and reading your works
      Wishing you a great festive season and a wonderful new year
      Aussie Emu

  10. Androgoth

    December 26, 2011 at 11:47 pm

    Now this is what I call a blooming great posting Ian,
    i wonder what thrills we can all expect in 2012? 🙂 😉
    well i know one thing, it will always be a wicked post
    on this Space and thank you for being such a great
    pal Ian 🙂

    Have a great rest of year now and be good 🙂 lol


    • The Emu

      December 27, 2011 at 5:04 am

      Hi Androgoth , dont think I am cut out as a storyteller for children though
      Bit different from my other stuff though , who knows what the new year may bring
      Hope it brings much happiness for you and Jen
      Aussie Emu

  11. Raven

    December 26, 2011 at 6:43 pm

    LOL I was smiling and laughing throughout the story…what a charming and sweet story. Beautiful cactus…
    May your New Year be filled with Love and Happiness.

    • The Emu

      December 26, 2011 at 10:52 pm

      Hi my friend , glad you enjoyed my story
      Dont think I am cut out to be a childrens storyteller though, lol
      Wishing you all the best for the new year

  12. prenin

    December 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    lovely story Emu! 🙂

    Hope you had a Merry Christmas – I loved mine!!! 🙂

    God Bless!


    • The Emu

      December 26, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      Don’t think I will become a childrens storyteller , lol

  13. Sabina Brave

    December 26, 2011 at 9:04 am

    It’s funny 🙂 And flower is really amazingly beautiful 🙂

    • The Emu

      December 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

      Hi Sabina , glad you enjoyed my little efforts at trying to write childrens storys,lol
      I dont think its really my style of writing though , hope you had a beautiful Christmas
      and I wish you much happiness for the new year , may all your dreams come true

      • Sabina Brave

        December 26, 2011 at 11:18 am

        Thank you Ian 🙂

        Wish you also all the best 🙂

        • The Emu

          December 26, 2011 at 10:49 pm

          Greetings Sabina
          Thank you and the same to you

  14. Valerie Atkins

    December 26, 2011 at 6:15 am

    Wonderful story Ian… are so talented. It sure had me wondering what was coming next with the cactus story. Congratulations…..Hugs Valerie x0x

    • The Emu

      December 26, 2011 at 6:42 am

      Hi Valerie , glad you enjoyed my endeavours into the world of writing childrens story’s lol
      Hope your Christmas was a great day , wishing you all the best for the festive season and new year
      Ian and Ana and Emu


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