When I was growing up I remember all the old stories Grandma would tell me
You know the ones about Cinderella and her three ugly sisters and the ones about Hansel and Gretel
Stories that were all fairy tales that would make you dream of love and Princesses and kingdoms in far away lands But damned if I know why she wanted me to hear about a little boy called Hansel being kept in a little cage to be fattened up to be eaten by an ugly old crone
So going to sleep as a little boy was a cross between happy dreams and wetting the bed in nightmares
Well anyway Grandpa would always tell me stories that were fun and laughter
This is one story he told me that I never understood at the time but every time he told it he would burst out laughing and tell me that one day I would understand the moral of the story
He said it was man’s talk and the true story of what happened to Cinderella after she slopped her droopy lipper at the pancy dress fall
True story as told by Granddad
Cinderella turned 75 years old after a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat Alan. One afternoon , out of nowhere, appeared her fairy Godmother
Cinderella said, Fairy Godmother , what are you doing here after all these years
The Fairy Godmother replied , Well Cinderella , since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes, is there anything for which your heart still desires.
Cinderella was overjoyed.
I wish I was extremely wealthy, she said. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.
Alan her cat jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering in fear.
Oh thank you Fairy Godmother said Cinderella.
Is there anything else you might wish for asked the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella looked down at her frail body and said
I wish I was young and full off the beauty I once had
At once her wish was granted
Cinderella felt a feeling inside her that she had not felt for years
The Fairy Godmother said you have one wish remaining,what shall you have
Cinderella looked at her frightened cat and said,
I wish you would turn Alan , my old cat, into a handsome young man.
Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and before them stood a young man with the looks and body that no other man could match
The Fairy Godmother again spoke
Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life, and with that she was gone .
For a few eerie moments,Cinderella and Alan looked into each others eyes
This is the Romantic Bit I love( Ian )
Cinderella stood, gazing at the most stunning perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms.
He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath
Bet you regret having my balls chopped off now , don’t you