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Phil The Hen

06 Apr

Phil The Hen

True story as told to me by my mate Phil

Phil came home from the pub

Late one Friday evening stinking drunk

As he often did

And crept into bed beside his wife

Who was already asleep

He gave her a peck on the cheek

And fell asleep

When he awoke

He found a strange man

Standing at the end of his bed

Who the hell are you demanded Phil

And what are you doing in my bedroom

The mysterious man answered

This isn,t your bedroom and I,m St Peter 

Phil was stunned You mean I,m dead That cant be 

I have so much to live for

And I haven,t said goodbye

to my family

You,ve got to send me back

Straight away 

St Peter replied yes you can be reincarnated

 

But there is a catch


we can only send you back as a dog or a hen

Phil was devastated

But knowing there was a farm not far

 from his house

He asked to be sent back as a hen

A flash of light later

He was covered in feathers and clucking around

Pecking the ground

This isn,t so bad

he thought


Until he felt this strange feeling welling up

Inside him

The farmyard rooster strolled over and

said So your the new hen

How are you enjoying your first day?

Its not so bad Phil replies

But I have this strange feeling inside

 Like I am about to explode

You,re ovulating explained

The rooster

Dont tell me you,ve never

laid an egg before

Never replies Phil

Well just relax and let it happen


and so he did

And after a few uncomfortable seconds later

An egg pops out from under his tail

An immense feeling of relief swept over

him

And his emotions got the better of him

As he experienced motherhood for the first

 time
when he laid his second egg

The feeling of happiness was

overwhelming

And he knew that being reincarnated as a hen

Was the best thing that ever happened to

 him Ever


The joy kept coming

And as he was just about to lay his third

 egg

He felt an enormous smack

On the back of his head

And heard his wife Shouting

Phil wake up, you drunken bastard

You,ve shit the bed

 

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21 Comments

Posted by on April 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

21 responses to “Phil The Hen

  1. GP Cox

    August 18, 2015 at 10:12 am

    You had your funny bone tickled today, eh?

     
    • The Emu

      August 18, 2015 at 12:17 pm

      An old post I found browsing back into my early days gp.
      Always did get a laugh out of that old one mate.
      Cheers.

       
  2. wonkywizard

    August 18, 2015 at 8:04 am

    Ha, ha. A shitty dream in reincarnated chick.

     
    • The Emu

      August 18, 2015 at 12:21 pm

      Greetings and thanks for taking the time to read.
      Glad you found the humor in that old story on reincarnation.
      Cheers.

       
  3. The Emu

    August 18, 2015 at 7:38 am

    Reblogged this on Welcome To Aussie Emus World.

     
  4. Colline

    April 10, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    I laughed at the totlly unexpected ending 😀

     
    • The Emu

      April 10, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      I thought a bit of lighthearted humour would be a bit of fun in Emu space
      The ending always gets me laughing
      Cheers
      Emu

       
  5. Bernardita Sanhueza

    April 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Besos amigo … espero conocerlo en Septiembre …..:)

     
    • The Emu

      April 8, 2012 at 2:07 am

      Saludos Bernardita, esperamos que su Semana Santa va bien y la vida es amable con usted
      Tal vez pueden reunirse en septiembre cuando volvamos
      Te deseo mucha felicidad
      Emu australiano conocido como Ian

       
  6. cat.

    April 7, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks for making me smile again and again, my friend. Happy Easter to you and the fam, eh? Love, cat.

     
    • The Emu

      April 8, 2012 at 2:01 am

      Glad to oblige and put a smile on your face Cat
      Wishing you a great Easter Sunday
      Emu

       
  7. magsx2

    April 7, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Hi,
    That was the best joke I had heard in a long time I loved it. I had my Husband read it as well he just burst out laughing. Well done. 😆

     
    • The Emu

      April 7, 2012 at 1:01 am

      Thought I needed a little ligh hearted humour to liven up the Emu’s space
      Glad you and hubby enjoyed it.
      Wishing you both a great Easter Saturday
      Emu

       
  8. prenin

    April 6, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Never trust a dream or a fart! 🙂

    God Bless!

    Prenin.

     
    • The Emu

      April 7, 2012 at 12:24 am

      Many a slip can be had in the darkness of the night mate ,lol
      Emu

       
  9. Sue Dreamwalker

    April 6, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    Hi Emu, 🙂 🙂 I had heard this before, but forgotten most of it.. LOL and still cracked up with laughter.. Happy Easter my friend xox ~Sue

     
    • The Emu

      April 7, 2012 at 12:18 am

      Was time to resurrect it again Sue
      A little light hearted humour to cheer up the Emu space
      Wishing you a great Easter Saturday
      Emu

       
  10. natswans

    April 6, 2012 at 11:53 am

    LOL Having a laugh is good for you.
    Sheila Hugs

     
    • The Emu

      April 7, 2012 at 12:14 am

      I enjoy a good laugh and this one always makes me smile
      Cheers
      Aussie Emu

       
  11. Doris

    April 6, 2012 at 10:54 am

    That’s funny, hope your Easter is a good one dear friend… hugs

     
    • The Emu

      April 6, 2012 at 11:31 am

      Hi Doris , glad you enjoyed my little bit of fun
      Hope your well and wish you nmuch love
      Emu

       

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