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The Boiled Egg and The Antique Shop

13 Apr

This is a story of the humble boiled egg and an Antique shop, what do the two have in common ? Nothing really but in this case the two seem to come together for this blog

Lets deal with the boiled egg first.

I was watching TV last week and every channel seemed to have nothing but cooking shows, we are being deluged by Celebrity cooking , Master chef and every other type of cooking show you can think of, and every second person seems to be some sort of cooking guru who has cooked for the Queen or the Dalai Lama and even Noah and his family on the bloody ark.

Now this young pimply faced guy on tv was telling us that we were not doing boiled eggs the right way and he had the secret to perfect boiled eggs, he proceeded to teach us his secret, this is how it goes,

1 Place an egg in a saucepan of cold water

2 Bring to the boil and remove the saucepan from the stove as soon as the water starts to boil.

3 Cover the saucepan and let the egg sit there for exactly 6 minutes

4 Remove the egg after the 6 minutes and you have the perfect boiled egg

Now this self proclaimed boiled egg guru explains it like this,by letting the egg sit for exactly six minutes this lets the yolk and white to internally cook under its own combustion in the egg, the yolk neither hard nor soft but a delicate golden centre and the white being a smooth soft texture and not forming a rubber like texture. Well that was his theory, now me liking boiled eggs proceeded to follow his instructions to the letter,egg to saucepan of cold water, bring to boil, remove when starting to boil, cover saucepan and let sit for exactly six minutes, remove egg and enjoy the perfect boiled egg.Was he right in his theory ? ,Nah, I lopped the top of the cackle berry and found the egg to be as hard as bloody rocking horse shit, so gave that celebrity chef the arse and went back to my age old way of boiling eggs.

Now over to the Antique shop story.

I love antiques, they hold a fascination for me and seem to transport me into a different world, an age of nostalgia where life was full of tenderness and values that were real,anyway back to my story, having said that, I can smell an antique shop a hundred miles away and start to get tingly all over. Ana and I headed off and were soon at the antique shop,upon entering the shop I immediately went into my zombie catatonic state where my eyelids get covered in ancient cobwebs and my nose and lungs start absorbing dust from centuries ago, dust from unopened old leather bound books and all sorts of treasures buried beneath ancient soils, I become an archaeologist.I know somewhere in these caves of antiquity there within is my Holy Grail, that one treasure that has my name emblazoned on it. I am undergoing my antique orgasm as I see before my eyes, my Holy Grail, I get tingly all over my toes curl I shudder in orgasmic delight and try not to show my excitement.This is the treasure I must have at all costs, even to selling the car and mortgaging the house and wife, Its imperative to not look at the prize too long in case the owner sees you and knows your game, walk past the object of desire without glancing and come back after a good while and handle the object and casually ask the owner what price,he will give an exorbitant price but even so you know you would pay a million for it, but you casually offer him a few dollars less, he accepts and you pay and very casually walk out of the shop.

Well thats my technique for buying antiques, but there is another technique you must master which I will explain later and that is how to get the money off the wife to pay for your Holy Grail.One other thing about antiques you must know

Remember all the old movies from back in the 50s and 60s

The movies that showed the father with 14 kids in the depression years, all not wearing shoes and him looking for employment while his wife was standing over a big pot boiling potato peelings to make a soup to feed the family, Remember those type of movies ?

All bullshit the Emu says

Look closely in the movie and you will notice they aren’t poor at all

Nope says the Emu

Their house is full of antique furniture

worth a mint

Double standards crying hard up bullshit

Anyway what did I buy that antique day visit, well its not exactly an antique but more or less an icon from the 60s and 70s era. My Holy Grail that day was an Eggcup

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40 Comments

Posted by on April 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

40 responses to “The Boiled Egg and The Antique Shop

  1. Androgoth

    April 20, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    You’re right Ian there is always one that
    thinks their perfected way of egg boiling is
    the bees knees, well who wants to wait all
    that time just for a boiled egg? 😦 lol

    I like these offerings Ian but I think that I will
    stick to my own methods on cooking, especially
    on those hard boiled eggs 🙂 lol

    Have a great weekend my great friend 🙂

    Androgoth

     
    • The Emu

      April 21, 2012 at 12:13 pm

      I have gone back to my old method mate
      It’s called hit and miss , lol
      Cheers
      Emu

       
  2. mahlaqa

    April 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    hey Emu.. how are you? since i was away u must have been doing fun right? the post is too eggish 😛 n sensually antique 😛

     
    • The Emu

      April 20, 2012 at 7:57 am

      Greetings my dear friend, lovely to hear from you and hope life is treating you well
      Old Emu hasn’t been up to too much mischief lately , my last grandson arrived yesterday
      I have had three grandchildren in about two months now so think its time this old grandad needs a holiday
      Cheers Princess and much love from Aussie
      Emu

       
      • ~Mystique sunshine~

        April 20, 2012 at 11:25 am

        Emu hasn’t been up to too much mischief lately? Sure Emu? 😉
        Congrats on the third arrival.. Would love to see the pics..
        Cheers

         
        • The Emu

          April 20, 2012 at 12:07 pm

          Pics coming up soon dear friend , three grandkids in two months means I need a bloody holiday
          Cheers Princess
          Emu

           
  3. Sabina Brave

    April 17, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I didn’t know, that to boil an egg, I don’t have to boil it, hm…
    This eggcup looks funny. 🙂
    xox

     
    • The Emu

      April 18, 2012 at 6:41 am

      Hehehe ,glad you enjoyed my little egg cup blog
      I dont know if its a male or female humpty dumpty though
      Wishing you well
      Emu

       
  4. jennygoth666

    April 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    lol you should try delias egg boiling technique miss perfect does them

    correctly every time lol loved your story lol xxjen

     
    • The Emu

      April 17, 2012 at 7:28 am

      Dont know that technique Jen, I just run on the hit and miss method now
      Whats Delias technique ?
      Cheers girl and best wishes
      Emu

       
  5. ~Mystique sunshine~

    April 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Emu seems to have a huge female fan following now.. 😉 7 mnths off wordpress and so much has changed.. Sigh!! Good ol’ days when Pen and i were the only ones.. And as far as the egg cup is concerned it seems to have a face of a guy and body of a girl.. 🙂 Am i the only one thinking that way.. lol.. 🙂 Still love your egg cup..
    Hugs and kisses to both you and Ana
    Shareena

     
    • The Emu

      April 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

      No Princess , the old Emu has gone all quiet over the last year
      Not many people follow the Aussie Emu or Aussie Ian
      Just write old memories in Love and Romance and in Emu just real life storys
      Time I headed bush again or headed off overseas and do some exciting travel adventures
      Next trip is to New Guinea then South America ,but for now its a few more beers and of to bed
      Cheers girl and keep smiling
      Emu aka Ian
      Humpty Dumpty was a male

       
      • ~Mystique sunshine~

        April 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm

        🙂 Din realize that was Humpty Dumpty.. 🙂 Its so damn hot here.. Just emptied half a bottle of wine and am all dizzy.. Off to bed in sometime.. Take care Emu..

         
        • The Emu

          April 17, 2012 at 7:27 am

          Sounds like the bottle of wine is a great night cap lol
          and yep that is my humpty dumpty, dont know if its a female or not
          Cheers my friend and keep happy and smiling
          Emu aka Ian

           
  6. Hanne

    April 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Hahaha, the best to start a day with, it’s a good laugh.
    I had fun when I read your blog Ian, you are amazing. 🙂
    and
    Thanks for your lovely visit and your recognition of my new site.
    It warms a romantic heart.
    I wish you a wonderful Sunday.
    Hanne Denmark.

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

      Hi Hanne , great to hear from you, glad you enjoyed my bit of humour with my eggs and antique shop
      I love antiques but wish I had more money lol, love your new site, well done, Sunday night here so bedtime coming up
      Wishing you a beaut week ahead
      Hugs from Australia
      Aussie Emu

       
  7. giselzitrone

    April 15, 2012 at 9:26 am

    Ist ja ein super Bild Die legen sehr grosse Eier Ich esse gar keine Eier schon viele Jahre nicht.Hab noch einen schönen Sonntag und einen guten Wochenstart Herzlicher Gruss von mir Gislinde.

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 11:11 am

      Hallo Gislinde, froh, dass Sie genoss meinen kleinen Spaß mit meinem Ei Beitrag
      Sie hoffe, Sie sind wohlauf und glücklich, seinen Sonntag Abend hier so bald Schlafenszeit für mich
      Ich wünsche Ihnen einen beaut kommenden Woche große Umarmung aus Australien
      Aussie Emu

       
  8. kate58

    April 15, 2012 at 8:59 am

    I love antiques…far more than I love eggs, which I actually loathe. 😉 Thanks for providing me with a humourous read with my Sunday morniing coffee. 🙂

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

      Hi Kate , glad you enjoyed my bit of humour
      I love antiques but wish I had more money lol
      Sunday night here so bedtime coming up
      Wishing you a beaut week ahead
      Hugs from Australia
      Aussie Emu

       
  9. claudia

    April 15, 2012 at 7:42 am

    thanks for the smile…and really…i have never cooked for the dalai lama…smiles…and i love that eggcup…very, very cool…happy sunday emu

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 10:55 am

      Thanks Claudia , glad you enjoyed my bit of fun with that blog
      Sue Dreamwalker thinks its a female egg cup, I thought Humpty Dumpty was a male
      Sunday night here so nigh nigh time soon, wishing you a great week ahead Claudia
      Hugs from Australia
      Aussie Emu

       
  10. Sue Dreamwalker

    April 15, 2012 at 6:02 am

    Emu, I just loved…. LOVED this post full of anticqular delights.. Ok so I know there is no such word as Anticqular. But its in my vocabulary.. and the Egnostics! Even though Over Cooked were very WELL DONE!. .. I have always found 4 mins to be the best, depending on Egg size.. Just loved your tales of Antiques Hunting, and loved the Holy-Grail Find.. She has to be the female version of Humpty Dumpty!.. . Hope your Sunday a good day Emu.. and hope Ana’s Purse not too empty! 🙂
    All the very best sent your Way.. ~Sue

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 7:44 am

      Hi Sue , glad you enjoyed my bit of a wander through the dirty antique pages of our past
      If I had my way I would own an antique shop but never open to the public, just grow old and age
      with the past around me, Think I was born in another era and life.
      You made me check again to see if my humpty dumpty is a male or female
      Now you got me confused
      Emu

       
  11. prenin

    April 15, 2012 at 2:14 am

    LOL!!! Yeah I see what you mean about the added bit – a house full of antiques indeed!!! 🙂

    God Bless my friend!

    Prenin.

     
    • The Emu

      April 15, 2012 at 5:31 am

      Couldn’t help meself mate, had to add that little bit in
      Cheers and have a lucky happy week
      Aussie Emu

       
  12. Mars

    April 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Thanks for the lols 😀

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      What a beautiful introduction to your space, enjoyed your memories of the unfinished house, so full of love and warmth and everything that makes a family complete, you mention your father I think who has a military background, I served 20 years in the Australian Army and in South Vietnam.
      I look forward to following your entertaining and delightful space, if you care to visit I also have another space called Aussie Ian where I write poetry with a love and romance theme
      A pleasure to visit your space
      Aussie Emu aka Ian

       
  13. natswans

    April 14, 2012 at 11:06 am

    Hi Emu I am having trouble all the time boiling an Egg LOL never get it right … As for poached I don’t even go there…
    That’s a cute egg cup glad you got a little treasure.
    Have a good Weekend
    Hugs Sheila

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      Hi Sheila , glad you enjoyed my little bit of fun with that post on eggs
      I still do boiled eggs on the hit and miss rule, lol
      Hope you are having a great Sunday
      Cheers
      Emu

       
  14. suemacarthur

    April 14, 2012 at 7:36 am

    Love your eggcup Ian, take me back to Aunty Nile’s house when we where kids, she had all different eggcup, one for every kid who when there,
    Thanks for taking me back to my childhood,
    Hope all is well with you and Ana
    Take care
    Sue

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:40 am

      Bit of fun Sue and glad you enjoyed my story
      Try this one out for me Sue
      Boil an egg and let it cool, then pinprick both ends and blow it like a birds egg
      The bloody thing pops out shellless , old Aussie trick
      Have you heard from Mark, hope he’s still going strong
      Anzac day this year they are apparently letting AATTV members lead the parade throughout Australia
      as its our 50 year commemoration since we were formed
      Dont know about Mildura here as there are only 4 of us
      Anyway cheers to you and Ross
      Cheers
      Emu

       
  15. Ina

    April 14, 2012 at 5:54 am

    🙂 I will try the egg boiling thing, but do it half the time, 3 minutes. If it is any good, I’ll let you know. And I like your antique orgasm. ( I understood it wrong first time I read, though, I thought it meant you hadn’t had one for ages.)

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:33 am

      Lovely to hear from you Ina , hope all is going well in your world
      Hope you have more luck with your egg than I did, try this Aussie one out for me too
      Boil an egg and pinprick both ends and blow it like a birds egg, it comes out completely without a shell
      As for the orgasms , yeah memories are made in an old mind
      Cheers Princess
      Emu

       
  16. magsx2

    April 14, 2012 at 5:34 am

    Hi,
    I could only laugh at the 6 min boiled egg, that was hilarious, but I burst out laughing at your egg cup as I certainly was not expecting that. 😆
    But it is a very unusual egg cup.

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:29 am

      Fair dinkum mate I followed the instructions and it was a load of bullshit
      try it out and let me know what ya think, bring it only to the boil and let it sit for 6 minutes
      Load of Croc shit or I stuffed something up
      Another one for ya ta prove me wrong, boil an egg and pin prick the ends of it
      and blow it like a birds egg and the bloody thing shoots out completely without a shell
      True Aussie story
      Cheers mate
      Emu

       
  17. Angel O'Fire

    April 14, 2012 at 2:44 am

    fantastic story I love it………well said emu x

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:15 am

      Added a bit more to it Sherlock , let me know what ya think
      Fucking hard boiled eggs give me the shits , how come
      Cheers Emu

       
  18. prenin

    April 14, 2012 at 12:26 am

    A real treasure!!! LoL!!! 🙂

    God Bless my friend!

    Prenin.

     
    • The Emu

      April 14, 2012 at 11:13 am

      Thanks mate , since your last comment I edited it and added a bit more
      Let me know what you think, getting into winter here now mate, time for electric blanket
      Cheers mate
      Aussie Emu aka Ian

       

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