Dont Mess with Mature Ladies

02 Jul


A mature ( over 70 ) lady gets pulled over for speeding

Older Woman : Is there a problem, Officer

Officer : Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older woman : Oh , I see.

Officer : Can I see your license please ?

Older woman : I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Older woman : Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer : I see… Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman : I can’t do that.

Officer : why not ?

Older woman : I stole the car.

Officer : Stole it ?

Older woman : Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer : You what ?

Older woman : His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup.

Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.

A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasaping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2 : Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please ! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman : Is there a problem sir ?

Officer 2 : O ne of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Oler woman :Murdered the owner ?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2 : Is this your car, Ma’am ?

Older woman : Yes here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2 : One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2 : Thank you Ma’am,one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole the car and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older woman : Bet the liar told you I was speeding , too.


Posted by on July 2, 2012 in Uncategorized


16 responses to “Dont Mess with Mature Ladies

  1. giselzitrone

    July 3, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Lach..Grüsse dich lieb aus Köln und wünsche dir mal einen schönen Glücklichen Tag schön geschrieben mit der Alten Dame Hab noch eine gute Woche lieber Gruss Gislinde.

    • The Emu

      July 4, 2012 at 1:48 am

      Hi Gislinde , glad you enjoyed my bit of humour
      I wish you a beautiful day my friend

  2. Sabina Brave

    July 3, 2012 at 8:38 am

    Good one! 😉 🙂

    • The Emu

      July 4, 2012 at 1:45 am

      Greetings Sabina, glad you enjoyed that little bit of Aussie humour
      Have a great day

  3. Androgoth

    July 3, 2012 at 12:49 am

    Now that is funny 🙂 lol
    and i needed a good giggle
    after the saturday that I had 😦
    But all is well in my Space so
    I cannot complain Ian 🙂

    Hey more jokes me thinks 🙂
    Have a good time my great friend 🙂


    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 6:01 am

      Glad you enjoyed my little attempt at humour, thought it would bring a bit of a smile to a few friends faces
      Will consider adding one or two now and them.

  4. Sue Dreamwalker

    July 2, 2012 at 8:26 pm

    Always love a chuckle Emu… and this one made me chuckle away.. 🙂

    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 12:32 am

      Hi Sue, glad my little joke tickled your fancy, hehe

  5. magsx2

    July 2, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    Good one. 😀

    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 12:31 am

      Glad you enjoyed my little effort at sharing a joke

  6. prenin

    July 2, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Never mess with a little old lady!!! LoL!!! 🙂

    Thanks for the visit and comment Ian! 🙂

    My pepper mill has adjustable grinders so I can have coarse, medium, or fine.

    Not bad hey?! 🙂

    The weather here continues to be wet and cool despite it supposing to be summer…

    God Bless!


    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 12:29 am

      Thanks for dropping by mate , glad you enjoyed my little joke
      Have a great Tuesday Ian, bloody freezing here

  7. rosemarymonteith

    July 2, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    Enjoyed that Ian, right up Emu’s street lol

    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 12:28 am

      Bit of humour now and then just to brighten up my Emu space and share a few laughs
      Glad you enjoyed that chuckle Rosemary.

  8. natswans

    July 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

    I just loved this thanks for the Monday chuckle.
    Have a good week.

    • The Emu

      July 3, 2012 at 12:26 am

      Like to put in a bit of a joke now and then just to lighten up my Emu page and give a few laughs to my friends.
      Glad you enjoyed that chuckle Sheila.
      Have a great Tuesday
      Damn freezing here


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