How an Aussie knows He;s an Aussie

05 Dec

You know your an Aussie when
• You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
• You’re liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans “rooting” for something.
• You pronounce Melbourne as ‘Mel-bin’.
• You believe the ‘L’ in the word ‘Australia’ is optional.
• You can translate: ‘Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.’
• You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
• You call your best friend ‘a total bastard’ but someone you really, truly despise is just ‘a bit of a bastard’.
• You think ‘Woolloomooloo’ is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
* You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
• You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.
• You understand that ‘Wagga Wagga’ can be abbreviated to ‘Wagga’ but ‘Woy Woy’ can’t be called ‘Woy’.
• You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You’ve also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
• You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
• Beetroot with your Hamburger… Of course.
* You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song ‘Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again’ And “Living next door to Alice”.
• You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
* You wear ugg boots outside the house.
• You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Americans for a pittance.
• You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them.
• Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
• You understand that ‘excuse me’ can sound rude, While ‘scuse me’ is always polite.
• You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
• You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
• Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
• You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ‘Anzac cookies’.
• You still think of Kylie as ‘that girl off Neighbours’.
• When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
• You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
• You know that there is a universal place called “woop woop” located in the middle of nowhere…no matter where you actually are.
• You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do. Because we can.
• You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.
* You’ve only ever used the words – tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet – to mean good. And then you place ‘bloody’ in front of it when you REALLY mean it.
• You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the Salad.
• You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.
* You understand what no wucking furries means. You’ve drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.
* You own a Bond’s chesty. In several different colours.
• You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, But not as good as barra. Or a meat pie.
• You know that some people pronounce Australia like “Straya” and that’s ok.




Posted by on December 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


14 responses to “How an Aussie knows He;s an Aussie

  1. Androgoth

    December 8, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Tim Tam 🙂 lol
    I like this one Ian
    very amusing 🙂

    I hope that your
    weekend is a beaut 🙂


    • The Emu

      December 8, 2012 at 9:57 am

      Hot Saturday today Androgoth, 40 bloody degrees and summer not really hitting in yet.
      Only hoping this year our bit of the world will remain bushfire free ,but already they are starting up.
      Cheers mate.

  2. Sue Dreamwalker

    December 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    What I so love about Aussies is their sense of humour… and you never disappoint!…. Hope you are having a great time where ever you are today.. 🙂 xox Sue

    • The Emu

      December 8, 2012 at 10:55 am

      We certainly have our own sense of humour Sue, some might think its dry and weird but it is unique and I think it derived from the days when Australia was settled by the convicts sent out here from England in the 1700s cos your hulks, floating prisons , couldn;t hold any more.
      Now its a language on its own, Ana has now learnt that here in Australia we speak English but also Australian, a form of English slang.
      Cheers Sue

  3. auntyuta

    December 6, 2012 at 12:25 am

    That’s a pretty comprehensive list you made there. Love it! Having resided in Australia for the past 53 years, most of it sounds somewhat familiar to me.

    • The Emu

      December 6, 2012 at 10:45 am

      By now Auntyuta you must admit it pretty well sums up the Aussie guy.
      Glad your home safe and sound with lots of great memories.

  4. prenin

    December 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    And people wonder why I love Aussies!!! LoL!!!

    God Bless my friend and stay cool! 🙂


    • The Emu

      December 6, 2012 at 10:42 am

      We just love chilling out mate, no time for bullcrap politics or wars or shit, just a cold beer and good sex, lol

  5. natswans

    December 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Good one Emu you mean you don’t drink Fosters !! LOL just love that ad.
    Enjoyed your post
    Chilly here but the rain has stopped and the Sun is out.
    Take Care

    • The Emu

      December 6, 2012 at 10:39 am

      Nah , the old Emu only drinks a slab of Melbourne stubbies a day before breakfast, after that I take it easy.
      Summer really kicking in here in Mildura but my kind of weather.
      Cheers Sheila.

  6. Colline

    December 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Gives me an insight into Australians 🙂

    • The Emu

      December 6, 2012 at 10:37 am

      Really is just about true Colline , we definitely have a different culture and lifestyle.

  7. cat

    December 5, 2012 at 7:37 am

    Love you, Aussie Ian … always have and always will … cat.

    • The Emu

      December 5, 2012 at 9:56 am

      Hi Cat,thank you for the beautiful comment, you are one of the oldest and dearest friends I have had the privilege of meeting on the net, you always follow my writings , adventures and expeditions, I dont take my friends lightly on here , thats why I dont have many in my wordpress site, but you are most welcome anytime. I sincerely do wish you much happiness and lots and lots of love.
      I hope your Christmas will be one of joy, surrounded by those who treasure you.


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